


Crooked Teeth and Stained Kisses

by WithAWhisper



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrortale, Ecto-Genitalia (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), F/M, Multi, Sloppy Makeouts, Tentacle Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 08:27:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12207507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithAWhisper/pseuds/WithAWhisper
Summary: You take tips from your boyfriend's dating manual and teach him how to kiss a human.It goes as well as you'd expect.VERY well.





	Crooked Teeth and Stained Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> And to the left, you'll find Whisper throwing herself into the garbage bin.

“Okay, okay so the way this goes, how humans kiss is sorta like…okay well, you just mash your faces together.”

“I MAY NOT HAVE LIPS BUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY PLEASANT, DATEMATE!”

You’re explaining to your boyfriend how to kiss, as you sit together on his race car bed that he had moved from his old house in the Underground.

In situations like these you’d ask ‘why not just use a hands on demonstration?’ and normally, hell yes, you’d dive right in and kiss your cute boyfriend right on the mouth.

But your boyfriend is a monster. Not just any monster, a skeleton monster. An eight feet tall, skeleton monster with crooked stained teeth. You already tried kissing and you ended up with cut lips.

It wasn’t his fault though! You were too enthusiastic and literally dove right at him and maybe...okay, maybe he’d bitten you. But only because he was hungry.

(That’s a whole other can of worms, but that’s a story for another time.)

But this time will be different! 

Papyrus had wooed you while taking tips from his ‘FOOL PROOF DATING MANUAL’. Which…’woo’ is a bit of a stretch, but you were charmed regardless. That gave you an idea. If Papyrus needed steps to approach this you’ll gladly help him because…

You really want to kiss him. Cheek kisses are nice, as well as temple kisses, forehead kisses, and Papyrus always gives very loud “MWAH!” sound effects which is cute. Nonetheless, you’ve never had a proper first kiss together yet, though you’ve been dating for months. You think you’re ready. You suspect Papyrus might be ready too, his cheek kisses have lately been straying closer and closer to your lips. 

So here you are now, trying your best to explain how humans kiss first. There's a process to this, you want to try easing Papyrus into it before you pucker up.

“There's probably a better way to explain it but that's really all it comes down to sweets.” You lay your hand over his and Papyrus laces his larger phalanges through yours. “I mean, you have to be careful so you don't end up cutting each other on their teeth-”

You falter when you stare down at Papyrus’ forever rust colored mangled grin and you backtrack.

“Unless people are into that! Sometimes people like getting a little rough and that's okay too!” you say a little too enthusiastic. You don't want to discourage Papyrus, especially after last time.

“I SEE! LET’S SEE IF I GOT THIS IN ORDER, HUMANS KISS BY PRESSING THEIR LIPS, WHICH I, A SKELETON, DO NOT HAVE. THEY CAN KISS IN ANYWAY THEY LIKE AS LONG AS BOTH INDIVIDUALS ARE DOING SO WITH ENTHUSIASM AND NOTHING LESS. SOMETIMES THEY ALSO USE THEIR TONGUES. AND HANDS ARE INVOLVED SOMEHOW. AM I CORRECT SO FAR?” Papyrus strokes his chin with one hand, one eyebrow ridge quirked in thought.

“Yeah, Paps, that’s about it.” You laugh.

“OKAY, THEN, SHALL WE...COMMENCE WITH THE KISSING?”

You smile. Papyrus may hide it but it’s obvious he’s nervous, he’s rattling a little. You fold your legs under you and shuffle closer, to accomodate for Papyrus’ tall height. Even while he’s sitting down, you think if you stood up, you’d still end up the same height. Papyrus lowers his head turn while turning towards you.

“Ready?”

“READY!”

You lean up, close your eyes and press your lips to his teeth.

...Okay, no. You open your eyes only to find Papyrus staring back at you. You laugh and lean back.

“Pap!”

“YES?”

“You’re looking at me!”

“I LIKE LOOKING AT YOU! WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO?”

Aw, well okay you forgot to mention that people keep their eyes closed. You press a kiss to his jaw and he lets out a soft “Nyeh!” with a light orange blush dusting his cheek bones. Cute.

“It’s fine, I should’ve mentioned it anyway. People don’t just keep their eyes open when kissing.”

“WELL...WE CAN TRY AGAIN?” He suggests, shyly.

You do. Maybe laughing about it first cleared the air a bit,and the second go was a lot more relaxed. Papyrus places his arms around your waist and you wrap yours around his neck and you lean in once again.

You open your mouth and trace your tongue along his front teeth, as you use one hand to cradle his jaw, your thumb rubbing the bone as you do so. Papyrus shudders, and you hear his bones rattle a little. His hands are beginning to roam, just a bit, sort of like he was rubbing your back a bit. He presses more firmly along your spine and you wonder if he was feeling for your bones.

The angle you were sitting in was making your knees and back tired so you figured, go for broke, and swung your leg over Papyrus’ pelvis and climbed into his lap. You think he might have squealed a bit.

Only you miscalculated and ended up overbalancing yourself, tipping the both of you over. Papyrus falls back on his elbows. You end up gripping onto his ribs for balance and you can feel him taking in a sharp breath. As well as a sudden sharp pain on your lip.

“Ah!” You sit up and touch a hand to your mouth. Your hand comes away with a bit of blood on your finger. “Oh, not again…”

“OH NO! DATEMATE ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Papyrus sits up, using both hands to cradle your face, inspecting your lip intently. “MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY AGAIN, SOME OTHER TIME-”

“No!” You blurt. Papyrus stops, looking into your eyes. 

“NO?”

You blush a bit, placing your hands over Papyrus’. “W-we just started! It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“ARE YOU SURE?” Papyrus creases his sockets in worry.

“Of course. I’ll just, get a tissue or something and…” You run your tongue over the cut, testing and force yourself not to wince at the slight sting. “It’s just a tiny cut.”

“O-OH UM…” Papyrus focuses his attention on your tongue. “THEN…”

To your surprise, a glow begins to manifest between Papyrus’ jaws, before an orange tongue slips out between his stained teeth. Papyrus leans and licks at your mouth, cool and tingly, like his magic. You can feel your cut being touched but for some reason it didn’t sting.

“You taste…” Papyrus says, hushed, almost to himself. Then, he kisses you again. You can taste a little bit of iron, but mostly Papyrus’ manifested magic didn’t taste like anything. You remember you still have one hand clasped to his ribs, so you curl your fingers and grip more firmly. 

Papyrus outright moans. Oh shit.  
“Is that okay, or-?”

“YES, YES, PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN,” He lays back again, sprawled out along the racecar bed and you didn’t expect you’d end up making out on it but are you going to complain? No, no you’re not. “MY RIBS ARE...S-S-SENSI...TIIIIIVE….!”

Oops, you might have used your other hand to grip onto his spine, rubbing up and down. (You wanted to do that for awhile now.)

“Too much?”

“NO.” Papyrus runs his hands along your body, your back, hips, waist, thighs...and back up again. You wiggle a bit, feeling a heat spreading from where Papyrus was touching you.

Maybe you should stop before you get overboard. The both of you are going a bit fast.

“P-papy, ah..” You mumbled between kisses.

Papyrus bypasses your clothes and starts to touch along your skin.

...Okay, you don’t actually want to stop. But, proceeding to full on sex after you’ve just officially kissed seemed too soon, so you force yourself to pull away.

“Sweets, I think that’s enough.” Your mouth is tingling, oh geez.

“W-WHAT?” Papyrus looks dazed, drunk on your heavy petting. “WHY?”

You giggle, giddily. “I think our first kiss was a success.”

Papyrus blinks rapidly before a full on orange blush illuminates his entire skull. “OH! Y-YES, OF COURSE! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED DATEMATE! WE DID GREATLY!”

You giggle and rest your head onto his shoulder. You wiggle some more, to get comfortable. Papyrus squeaks. “Pap are you jiggling your leg? Something’s moving.”

You feel whatever it is, shifting under you.

“N-NO DATEMATE I’M NOT DOING THAT. ...ON PURPOSE.” Papyrus is getting shifty eyed.

You quirk an eyebrow and look down, scooting back.

The front of Papyrus’ pants were tented. Rather, it was wriggling...a lot. In multiple directions.

You stare down with wide eyes.

“Oh.”

“YES.” Papyrus’ entire head looks like a nightlight. “UM, IF WE WAIT MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY!”

“You don’t know? ...Oh my god have you never popped a boner?”

...Pop a wiggly? Seriously what was going on down there? You might be a little flattered that perhaps you brought out this reaction from your boyfriend from just a bit of kissing and petting but you don’t want to embarrass him if this is a first time.

“I AM A FULLY GROWN SKELETON, DATEMATE! I HAVE...U-URGES LIKE ANY ADULT MONSTER!!!” Papyrus crosses his arms as he says so, still neon.

You try not to laugh. “Of course Pap!” Did your boyfriend just admit he gets boners? BONErs? He’ll groan if you tell him that. So you do. And he does.

You both decide to call it a day and head downstairs to nestle together on the couch and watch Papyrus’ favorite TV star, Mettaton in his “Killer Cook special hour!” reruns.

**Author's Note:**

> Well shit, here's to my first semi-sexy writing idea I had.  
> More implied really, but there's tentacle boners so that counts right?


End file.
